


submarine

by swallows (toska)



Category: Persona 3, Persona 4
Genre: F/M, Ken-centric, One-Sided Relationship, POV Second Person, file this under: things i can't believe i wrote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 20:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1524269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toska/pseuds/swallows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>—okay, so maybe you do have a problem with this older woman thing</p>
            </blockquote>





	submarine

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this](http://haveapizzaparty.tumblr.com/post/83775006894/what-i-want-most-out-of-life-is-ken-amada) tumblr post, yeah.
> 
> edit: i can't believe i misspelled submarine  
> in my defense it was late at night.
> 
> also title is related to that movie submarine. i did not watch it, but i know it has to do with young adults and growing up and that's close enough for me.

Okay, so maybe you do have a problem with this older women thing. But like, it’s not your fault. It’s hers. And maybe she’s gone now, turned into some goddamn door that not even your silver key can open, but still. It all started with her, anyways. But that isn’t necessarily the point here, the point is the girl in front of you. “Ken-kun, you alright?” she asks, her lips glistening. “Y-yeah,” you mumble and you feel like you’re ten again, with cheeks to hot and eyes facing downwards. She smiles softly and extends an arm, to help him up. “Thanks,” you say. She just smiles again, and the smile takes you back to another time, another girl.

(But you aren’t ten anymore though, you are thirteen and taller, so much more taller. You still, watch Phoenix Ranger Featherman R, but then again Mitsuru tends to watch it on lazy weekends with you too, so that she can check up (out) Yukari-senpai.)

"We’re falling behind!" She exclaims and grabs your hand and drags you ahead with the group. "Got yourself a girlfriend?" Junpei teases, his grin unfaltering to your glare. "Oi, Rise-chaaan! Did I ever tell you about how Ken’s a big fan—Umph!" He suddenly groans, due to your kick to his groin. You’re not really that sorry, serves him right for ignoring your "shut up," but you still end up blushing ten shades darker at her bubbling laughter from the distance.

.

Kujikawa “just call me Rise”-san, is someone who is filled with endless teasing and kind of, very, seductive grins and then there are times when she she grabs you so close, that her breasts end up pushed up against your arm, causing you to flush red. Satonaka-san tsks in disapproval (you’re not really sure if that is directed at you, boy from the city, or Kujikawa-san, who apparently does this with everyone) and Amagi-san continues to chortle, a large belly filled laugh, before grabbing both Satonaka-san and Kujikawa-san to the kitchen.

They return a moment later with plates at hand. You glance around the room and Hanamura-san looks a bit green, but he usually looks green, so you pay him no mind. The others look pretty uncomfortable as well, and as you glance at the dish that is in Amagi-san’s hands and blanch, as well. "That looks….interesting?" Mitsuru comments and Kujikawa-san tilts her head, "What’s so interesting about an omelet?"

"It’s really unique scent!" Yukari laughs nervously and kicks Junpei, before he says something that he rather shouldn’t. Around this time, there is a crash and you see that Teddie—the bear thing— has knocked over the main course.

Seta-san suggests a trip out for steak, and everyone in the room sighs in relief.

.

A few days later, you all are walking back home and you find yourself trailing behind to talk to Kujikawa-san. And you don’t know why you are fascinated with her and you’re just a teenage boy and all you know is that Kujikawa san is so soft and smells like strawberries with a hint of something else (you’re not sure what it is)(but it sure as hell smells wonderful) and sometimes she has a very faraway look in your eyes.

"Have you ever loved someone, Ken-kun?" She asks, and her voice seems quiet, breathy and oddly distant.

"Yeah."

"I bet a boy like you has plenty of girls after you! A guy who thinks about romance, is a pretty special thing indeed," She says, standing on her toes to ruffle your hair. "I guess," you reply, oddly uncomfortable, but pleased with her closeness.

"I like someone too," she says, tilting her head in the direction of Seta-san. You immediately deflate, because this is just your luck and all of this attention was probably to grab his attention. “I actually love him, a lot!” She says, giving you one of her award winning grins. “But I don’t think we’re going to ever be together, but he accepts all parts of me, and I think he even sees the real me. He accepts all parts of everyone, actually. Even the weirdos like Kanji-kun.” She whispers the last part dramatically, and you smile a little.

"Why do you think you can’t ever be together?" You ask.

"You’re just a kid, you wouldn’t understand," she says and your eyes narrow (those words take you back and bitterness rises up your throat), but she talks before you can even interject. "That’s what I want to say, but can’t. You’ve been fighting these shadows for a long time, too. And I started acting when I was thirteen, you know? Both of really did grow up fast, huh?" She looks at him wistfully, before shaking her head, "But that’s not the point. It’s just a feeling I have, about him, about us, about everyone. I’m tired of analyzing this group of mine and seeing cracks. We’re all going to go fall apart, one day. Maybe not today, but maybe tomorrow. A year from now, or maybe 2 years from now."

"I don’t believe that," you interject.

"Oh, really?" And her voice sounds tired, as if she really wants to believe it. (And you flashback back to her during those last spring days, where she was just tired and holding the weight of the world under her smiles. You don't want Kujikawa-san, to be like her. Feeling somwhat alone, until the very last moment.)

"SEES may have been a group, but none of us were ever really close to each other. Even in the same room, we didn’t really hang out together. But then Leader," and you pause for a moment, "she brought us together. And now we’re still together. And we’re all doing our own thing, but there’s always time for each other. And when Leader was gone, we really did fall apart. But there are things stronger than one person, like memories and learning how to begin again, you know."

She blinks and leans up and kisses your cheek. You freeze, barely hearing her “Thanks Ken-kun!” too distracted by the warmth on your cheek. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t love him. I mean I do, but I love them too,” she pauses for a second and whispers, “Not as much as him, though. But I think I’m ready to begin again and who knows?” She laughs. “Maybe one day I’ll learn that I actually do love him and confess again, confess for real. Maybe I’ll continue acting, and forget about it all. Maybe I’ll fall in love with someone else. Whatever, I do I hope I’ll be happy.” She says. It’s quiet between you two for a moment, “Thanks for talking to be, Ken-kun. I think I’ll join the others now, you should too!”

The rest of the walk home, you are by yourself with your thoughts. Kujikawa-san ran ahead, looping her arm in both Seta-san’s and Shirogane-san’s.

You could have sworn she turned back and smiled at you. And you really didn’t mind. And you’re still that teenage boy who thinks Kujikawa-san is soft and warm, and smells nice, but it’s different now. That faraway look is fading you think and there is more wholeness to her. And maybe there’s more wholeness in you too. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be with another person, or maybe, just maybe you’ll tell her your feelings. Even ask her on a date. Three years older, isn’t so bad, after all. Maybe then, you’ll even call her Rise.

.


End file.
